Utterly Feel Alone !

I feel utterly alone right now. I decided to ignore him because I can’t stay attached anymore, it hurts too much. He noticed it. He also stated that it hurt him that I ignore him because of it he doesn’t want to hang out with me until it is all fine. I think that’s ripping me apart. I want to see him and spend time with him but it feels like it just.. I don’t know. Painful? I don’t want to ignore him and I even have to force myself into saying I’m mad at him. I don’t want to though. I like him a lot. That kills me. I really hate this. Extremely even. I don’t even think he understands how much I really love him and care about him. God knows right? He can see it. Like maybe I’m not suppose to talk to him. I trust him though right? To at least be there to listen. I want to cry right now.. But I know doing that will not help me at all. So I’ll stay quiet and let time pass. Maybe, just maybe, I can let myself hope again.